Real Talk

[Real Talk][grids]

Au Naturale

[AU NATURALE][grids]

Weddings

[Weddings][bsummary]

Health & Lifestyle

[Health & Lifestyle][bsummary]

Exquisitely African

[EXQUISITELY AFRICAN][bleft]

Sponsored Post

[sponsored post][bleft]

DEFINE CHEATING


What is cheating? When do we say someone has cheated in a relationship? Would you say your spouse is cheating when they flirt or text/chat, sext or have someone else as his/her display picture? Could a deep physical but non-touching emotional affair be just as bad as a meaningless physical one? Do you think having a long term sexual relationship with someone should be treated the same as a 2-week intimate email-only relationship?

First of all, due to the fact that some people don't think their own questionable actions as cheating, the puzzle on what scenarios are seen as infidelity arises. You know how we humans are abi? Always trying to justify our behaviors (it's just our reflex defense mechanism). The terms of cheating can never really be defined..I mean things are never just black and white. The common/general knowledge that when you have sex with someone else, you're cheating and incase you are a JJC, oral sex is part of the sex we are talking about.

Now to the issue of flirting. Let's dial back a bit. To those who think or believe that their partner should not look at someone else should calm down small. Except your partner has lost all five of his/her senses  and doesn't have blood in their veins, then there is no way in heaven or on earth that he/she won't at one point in their lives flirt just a little. Even those that think they have to be the center of every sexual or romantic thought in their husband's head... Haba mana! Please let's be realistic here. Your partner can't be 100% faithful in their heads. Best believe that if you keep thinking that way, you are bound to have a failed relationship. Please it is HUMAN and NORMAL to glance at attractive people and even have a little crush/thirst sef. You're even lucky if your spouse tells you about it. If we decide to do a survey now, plenty people would have been guilty of fantasizing of someone else even for a split second. Talk true!! But hey! Flirting has got its own limits so watch yourself.

With the case of kissing someone else while in a committed relationship... IT IS WRONG! IT IS CHEATING!!

Some people say there are times cheating is justifiable. NA LIE!! If you're cheating for a particular reason that has to do with your partner not doing what he/she needs to do, it is still wrong. You're not given a free pass for that. If sex is important to you and not your spouse, y'all should talk about it and come to some compromise. Tell them exactly how it is and what your stand is. If your husband/wife is starving you of TLC, tell them oh!! Threaten with separation or going outside to get it if you must. Cheating has never and will never be the answer so don't do it.

After everything sha, since everyone has their own notions of cheating, I'd advice that the boundaries and parameters that define cheating be discussed and agreed to by both parties involved. So that the one you will take as cheating will be known. It's better that way because you're open about your views as one person may be thinking 'enjoying harmless flirting or other activities with someone else as far as they mean nothing and your feelings for your spouse are the same' is ok but meanwhile such a thing would hurt the other half of the duo.

So communicate on this issue and know what to expect so your relationship doesn't suffer.

Please I'm still gon ask as always. What is cheating to you? Is it ever justifiable?

Talk with Krystal ;) Legoooo!

5 comments:

  1. Theirs no excuse to cheating and it can't be justified , if so why do people hide it even when they feel they should cheat , u should be proud of yourself. If u have problems with your wife or husband work it out , if u can't.divorce , separation or annulment was created for a reason . Cheating is never the answer it gives no room for compromise or improvement instead hate ,anger and betrayal .their many forms of cheating the typical one is kissing and having sex. But if u just touch a person or hug a person and u hear your wife or husband is coming and u stop cos u see something wrong with it . Then ur getting their, sending sexual things to another person thru phone and delete when he or she wants to check your phone can also be signs of cheating . No man or woman should see your body parts down their except from your partner

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well cheating can never be justified and can never be defined, it starts from exchanging msgs, flirting can be classified as cheating. Before u know it, it leads to sex.

    ReplyDelete
  3. First, nice write up. Secondly, I don't even know where to start from. It's a mindset, I think. I'd feel you are cheating on me if you are setting with another female tin all honesty. I mean if you can say it out, it means you have fantasized about it and wish to do it. If you kiss another woman besides me, it is cheating. Why will you carry another woman on your legs? Am I not enough? Don't you have sisters for that purpose? Lol. On a much more serious note, everybody wants a beautiful relationship but nobody wants to work for it. We all want to take the easy way out and this is one of the main reasons why peopl cheat. They go searching for a fairytale where it doesn't exist except on Disney channel.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cheating to me can be interlocked with greed feeling. When someone is always wanting to get more, not feeling satisfied with his or her wanting, always wanting to explore another's emotion, disregarding the way the heart is being toyed with.
    To fight this, we most develop the content aspect in our cerebral membrane and learn to find new adventures and pleasing discoveries in the one we want to dedicate our mind to love and trust.
    Sometimes, I ask myself... wat do gals want in another y that they cant build up in their current guy?
    We must learn to appreciate the little we may have at the moment. Greater things are coming

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow I'm so awed by everything you all have said. Each one of you have said your truths and you're very correct. I only wish more people would learn. #RealTalk.

    ReplyDelete