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DO ME, I DO YOU


I had this very long conversation with a friend....
He told me how he really wanted to hurt his girlfriend(or rather ex) he said he loves because of what she did to him. And I asked why he'd want to hurt someone he claims to love cause if you truly love someone genuinely, you'd never want to inflict pain on that person no matter what.

It's true that sometimes those we care for do things that really drive us crazy. It's okay to get upset over their actions, but one thing I'm sure of is that love is not vengeful. In a relationship, you don't play the "if you do me I do you" game at all. Then it's a loveless thing you got going on there. True love is sincere, forgiving and not bitter. True love will not make the other party suffer because of what he/she may have done in the past. True love never takes advantage of the other person's mistakes and allow it to linger for a long time. Seriously if you feel the need to make someone pay or do your every bidding because you're holding an offence over him/her, sweetie you are a jerk! Just let the relationship go instead of hurting yourselves.

Even when you've been heartbroken and disappointed by a loved one, revenge never really ends well. It doesn't make you feel better about yourself. If you've ever been burned bad and you're struggling with the ideas of vengeance, try to see whatever you may have experienced as a lesson. Believe you were meant to get hurt just so you learn a thing or two. Once you do that, you learn to forgive and  be at peace with yourself. Revenge can degrade your true self worth. You stoop down to level lower than theirs. You give them power over you and also keeping the door open for them to respond.

Yes the hunger for vengeance is not intentional, I know. It's a basic human response related to trust. When you're heartbroken and hurt you become obsessed; the pain is a bit too much and you just want them to validate that you indeed mattered to them at all. Sweetie if that person that hurt you did so intentionally knowing it would hurt you, as hard as it is to accept, they in fact don't care. The illusion they may have presented you was a fa├žade.

You are much more than a scorned vengeful being. If you gave your relationship your all and you did love them, don't hurt them. Leave them to the natural phenomenon Karma. The universe always has its own ways of setting the balance right.  Forgive them and forgive yourself. Show that your love was pure, real and honest. Wish them the best life has to offer. It may seem difficult but just take it one step at a time. Be happy they did what they did when they did it. That's how most good things begin to happen. If your relationship ended because of what they did, take it in good faith. Thank them for everything. They've done you a huge favor. Stop looking for what to do to get back at them. I know you have some other work to focus your attention and energy on. REVENGE IS FOR THE WEAK!

In all, whether you're both still in the relationship or not, stay true to whom you set out to be when you got into the relationship. Don't change and become a mean old vengeful grump or someone that just derives joy in the pain of others. Show you have more strength than they think. Continue to live a good life.

So my darlings, that's the much I can say today. What do you think? Talk with Krystal :)

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