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THE BIG DEAL



Hey darlings, how's it going? Hope your week has been filled with grace so far?
Okay so Krystaltalks received this in the mail yesterday
"Dear Krystal, greetings. In love with your blog and your topics. I'm always on the lookout for the next post. Well done indeed. Please Krystal I would like to know why it is a big deal when a lady loses her virginity but it isn't the same when it's a guy? I ask because something happened recently..a man sent his wife packing just because she wasn't a virgin and the man himself is no saint either. I argued this thing with some of my friends in my room and I decided to ask you too. Is it right?  Do tell. Thanks"

First of all, thank you for being a fan...happy I get to make people like you happy,I'm throwing you kisses in the air..lol

Now let's get to the business of the day. Except the man in question had no idea of his wife's sexuality (all them arranged marriages) or the wife lied to him about it, I hope I'm not the only one who thinks the whole thing is absurd. But I'd like to think that before marriage y'all would have courted and gotten to learn more about yourselves yeah? In the course of this, they should have been open about their sex lives already not so? So in truth, the situation really doesn't make sense at all. From this story, I feel like the man may have just assumed she was a virgin and the woman never said anything about it. If that's the case, she didn't do right by him.

The truth is, even though few men have made it compulsory to go after virgins for wives when they have already being doing plenty since...sigh; it hasn't stopped other women who are already active from being happily married. IT IS NO BIG DEAL!! Yes I said it. Why isn't there much fuss about the men being sexual humans? Someone would say "Ehh, the man is a man,it's his right, women are meant to be this way and that way". This notion of the average nigerian/african is very myopic. That's why I love Chimamanda's words on feminism..."Why do we teach girls that they can't be sexual human beings in the way that boys are?" There should be social equality of the sexes right? If a man is marrying a woman simply because she's a virgin, then he doesn't love you in truth. A man should love the lady as a person first and if in the course he finds out she's still a virgin, it's a plus and may probably increase his feelings for you. Virginity has stopped being the determining factor for a girl to settle down.

Please I'm in no way condoning sex before marriage or advicing girls to sex around and not save themselves for their husbands. No no. I'm only saying some that aren't turn out to make even better wives. There's no reason to play the saint when you've also been doing the exact same thing.

To the man in the case today, if she lied to you or if you were deceived, I can indeed understand your anger. But I also want to believe that's not the only reason you married her. I hope the both of you fix things soon.

That's about it. So I'm throwing this to you guys now. What's your take or view on this issue? Talk with Krystal and do keep it real 100%. Xoxo

5 comments:

  1. We are equal but made-up differently, different sex hormones, different behavioral tendency, diff emotions.
    So we shld put this differences in perspective when we declare feminist quotes and their lot. In as much as we are equal before God, He assigned different attributes to us all. I'm not condoning the 'free-man sexuality' and the 'crucify-girl sexuality' just tired of feminism advocacy with only selfish purposes. After na girls go assign provision duty to man... abeg to each his/her own.

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    1. Uhuh...uncle you sound like ya an anti-feminist sha...I don't see how this is for a selfish purpose.lol. but I hear you

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  2. Personally I feel it's not a big deal, if u truly love her n u tell urself everyday that u want to b with her, u should be willing n able to forgive or accept anything she's done in d past. Afterall u myt not b a virgin either nd u don't see her making a big deal out of it or kicking u out. I mean to be fair, she has equal rigjts to do same.

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    1. True talk. Thank you for sharing your thoughts

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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