In church on Sunday, the usual homily (preaching and reflection) was based a bit on adultery and divorce. The priest put a lot of questions into people's minds with this one statement..."You should not be quick to act or pronounce judgement by demanding for separation or divorce if you're the reason your spouse committed adultery"
From what he said, unless you are indeed not at fault for your partner's offence, you should not think of calling the marriage quits, you should rather acknowledge your faults, forgive and forget his/her misdeeds and continue to love them and ensure the marriage works. It got a lot of people really thinking and talking probably because it just seemed pretty much absurd as to why one would quickly forgive and let go just because he/she for some reasons best known to them made their spouse go outside to get some.
So today, I'd ask you. How many of you would stay put, admit that you pushed your partner into having an affair, embrace him/her, forgive and forget that any such act was committed and forge ahead with the marriage? I mean if you already asked for a divorce or time apart and you realized that it was partly your fault, would it change how you feel about the situation? Would it stop you from going ahead with what you already intended to do? Is it possible to forget all else and pretend it never happened and love your spouse even more?
It was some very serious talk as people had to ponder on the reality of situations like this and see how possible it would be to enforce what the priest said. I actually get where the priest was coming from concerning adultery. Most times, we are usually the architect of the things that happen to us. I know I have discussed something like this in one of the other blog posts. The women most especially, whether we like to admit or not, play a significant role in their partners' adulterous ways. Whether or not you've remained to faithful to your spouse, there are some actions that can really send them to a dark place they would never have gone if only you did something differently.
But honestly, not wanting to leave, or not staying mad and upset or apportioning some blame to your adulterous spouse would be really difficult oh. Like even if you played some role in their actions, the image of him/her being with someone else the way they would be with you is quite disturbing and hard to get out of your head. It can never really be the same between the both of you right? I don't think it's possible to just let go without thinking once in a while "He actually did that! She actually did this!" Someone like me, e go hard die. Me keh, sit tight and continue to show more love....it's only God's grace and the thoughts of the children that would really play strong forces. I mean even though I probably did something that made him go find someone else to play fiddle with, there's been a betrayal of trust you get; no matter how strong one is, such a thing is likely to break you and everything that marriage stands for. One is likely to think that if something goes wrong again, the spouse would probably go out and act the same way again and later turn around to say "you made me do it. But I'm really sorry"
I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this one. Would you simply let go because you played a part in your spouse's adultery? Talk with Krystal :)