I had this really heated conversation with a friend about relationships. He said he loves making the person he's dating feel insecure and scared...he loves his girl feeling all afraid so that she will be humble and worried about him leaving her if she messes up. This took me aback.
I know there are a lot of other people out there, both male and female out there who do the exact same thing. Making your partner live in fear is just plain wrong. If you love them enough, you won't put them through that emotional stress of being scared of making one wrong move and losing you forever. To me that's like an abusive relationship. I mean, if y'all don't make mistakes once in a while, how will you learn and grow together? Sometimes misunderstandings and a little drama is what a relationship needs. Allowing your partner to panic when he or she is about to take one step and they're not sure if it would go down well with you is very sick and mean. Those words don't even do justice to the act. That isn't love at all. Love doesn't take advantage of people's insecurities or mistakes. You don't need to subject your partner/spouse to ultimatums and threats to keep them in check. Love him or her naturally. If they make a mistake or do something you don't approve of, talk it over. If the offence committed is so grave and you can't get over it, then let go. True love drives out fear, not impress it!!
If you're the type to sing to your partner the number of people waiting to take his or her place...you really should change your mentality and stop. Instead of that person to give his/her life for you because of love, it would rather be for fear. Do you know the type of emotional trauma that comes with that type of attitude? You make the person feel unworthy of your love, that they ain't good enough compared to the other people you could be with. You inflict heart wrenching thoughts in that person's head. Some get to a breaking point and be like "F*ck it! Whatever that wants to happen should go on and happen!".
I'd rather be alone than be in such a relationship. Love is the absence of fear. Love should not make you feel less than your worth. Love shouldn't make you so scared of the unknown. It shouldn't make you feel like you're without value. If anything, you should take pride in it; it should diminish your fears and inferiority complexes. You should be blooming in love....not getting sick or worried to death because you think no one else would want to be with you asides the one already there who keeps reminding you that he's doing you a favor. Balls!! It's not only when you're hit in a relationship that it's then labeled abusive. As long as you remain scared in that relationship and your partner continues to toil with your emotions and threaten you and says things that send a message that you're beneath him or devalues your worth...sweetheart you're being abused and you should break free. You should be in love, not fear!!
Sister or uncle forming boss and playing on how insecure some people can get because they haven't really realized how much better they could do than you, trust me, if you don't quit it, you'd be alone....and die a lonely person with no single one to give a damn about you.
So lovers of love (some of you though)....is it okay to make your partner insecure and afraid, and derive joy in it? Talk with Krystal while I enjoy this bottle of coke ehn ;)