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FART CHRONICLES: FARTING IN THE PRESENCE OF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

Hi Earthlings? How's it going? Don't we all just love Thursdays? Well with the present state of everything in our dear country Nigeria, I can only assume some of you are reading this post while waiting on that very long fuel queue or you're sweating in this hot weather as NEPA no gree give person light. Hope you've eaten today oh....chai, E go better for Naija.

Before we begin, let me ask you this question. How many of you are able to fart freely in your partner's presence or poop comfortably in their restrooms? You know some people are yet to attempt or even adjust to the idea of doing something like that even after being together for quite some time. While some may say if you can't "mess" in front of your partner, or if you can't stand your partner's fart then you don't really love him or her (LOL, I wonder when farts became romantic gestures), others seem to disagree.

So a reader told me that she can't and has never farted in her bobo's place before. That it's as if once she's with him her route of canal destruction is immediately sealed. Whether some chemicals in her body are unknowingly released to ensure she doesn't fart or poop, she doesn't know. All she knows is that immediately she's not with him, everything is let loose. She went on to tell me that she doesn't like to imagine her boo releasing atomic missiles knowing fully well they could sound and smell worse than hers. (I'm laughing and crying as I'm writing this thing I swear). According to her, she told him one time he tried it not to do it again when she's around..in fact she ran away from the sitting room. Her question though is, Is it wrong not to sit and be comfortable with your partner's mess and is it a must to share that type of experience with each other?
LOL...my dear lovers and people of God...in my opinion, there's no biggie if your bae can't fart with you in the room or can't stand your own hydrogen bombs. I actually don't like the idea no jokes. I feel there should be some mystery in a relationship. I'd like to wonder whether my guy dey mess or poop at all. Small delusion has never hurt anyone...I'd just deceive myself that he was created differently and doesn't do such...or maybe he farts rainbows with shiny sprinkles...or maybe his fart /poop would smell like candy or one better manly fragrance like Gucci. It doesn't mean I love him less....it's just something I don't want messing up with the picture I have in my head. Truthfully, I tried something like that in a past relationship, as per farting in the guy's presence...like we were exchanging mind blowing farts (yes I fart very well, lol)...at first I felt really awkward about it because he started first, but then I leaned into it. It was  funny oh, but eh...I began to get a bit uneasy and it just kept interfering with some vibes. I'd rather fart in the comfort of my best friends (lwkmdh, besties you know what's up, shout out to the main person *double wink*) or the "white house" that was made for that purpose. I mean it's okay to do it once in a while though, but when you keep doing it, you take away the mystery that's healthy for your relationship plus y'all can wait till you're married and bring down your house with your natural grenades

So dearie, if you say you don't want to be sharing your fart chronicles, there's no issue there. Fart privately, your partner too should do his/her own privately and continue loving up yourselves believing you're both "tush" abi "fresh" people.

That is the end of my story....LOL, ngwanu, Talk with Krystal in the comment section :)








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2 comments:

  1. Anonymous7/4/16 10:57

    lols! It is good! She gets to relate with you more and feels free! BUT ladies can FART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!! Ladies have no chill farting (speaking from experience)!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Huh? Can't someone feel free without farting😞😩and who told you ladies can fart? It's only glitters that come out of that place biko 😒😏

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