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RELIGION & MARRIAGE


I talked about tribalism being one crucial factor that makes most relationships suffer. At least some people are able to really deal with it. Another thing that could really cause trouble in marriages is Religion. Not just when it's a completely different religion from one party's own e.g. Islam and Christianity, but also denominations within a particular faith...and you all know I'm referring to Christianity here.
Religion means man’s recognition of the existence of power or powers beyond himself, who as it were, created the universe, sustains, preserves and provides for the universe. This just means that every man has what he sees as the greatest power or who/what may have created the whole universe. It differs from religion to religion. I mean a Hindu's religion would recognize gods like Krishna; the Muslims believe Jesus was just a prophet and Christians recognize Jesus as the son of God.
With these various recognitions, there are bound to be conflicts in a relationship. Simply dealing with the spouses' different faiths on a week-to-week basis can be a point of contention: whether to attend church, circle, mosque, synagogue, or temple of the one partner or the other; or to alternate attendance, or to attend a compromise denomination, or to back away from religious observance entirely.
When the couple has children they may have to decide whether the child will be baptized. They have to decide in which faith the child will be trained and educated. A partner might find it very difficult to handle having their child taught what are, in their opinion, untruths. If this decision is left until children arrive, this unresolved religious conflict can cause unfixable chaos.
It's one thing to love...but marriage is a totally different ball game all together. If you're someone that values his/her faith/religion well, getting entangled in a different faith would strain everything you believe in. So I get why most parents would rather kill themselves than have their children be married off to a completely different religion that may defy all they believe in.
However, I've been struggling a bit as to why Christians in particular would hardly marry themselves once they are of different faiths. Other religions may not have this problem because they don't have so many denominations. We would have thought that Christians since they believe in the same God should practice what they preach in the bible and not discriminate against a particular denomination yea?
I know the Pentecostal flock don't have this problem too. Like they can marry anyone (be it Methodist, Catholic, Anglican, name it) provided the person is a Christian. I'm Catholic....a staunch proud one make no mistake. The rules laid down for marriage though...sometimes I seem to understand them, other times they get me puzzled. In church one day, the Monsignor in charge of our parish made one announcement like that that left me in awe. According to him, no marriage between two people that were not both Catholics and had undergone the whole rites and practice the Catholic faith/doctrine would be married. He said if one person is catholic and the other is not, he/she would have to convert, undergo classes, get baptized, etc etc. That it's not just enough to come and wed in the church.
I've also heard cases where some couple's parents were suspended from activities and roles in the church simply because their children got married to someone who does not practice the same faith (but they're Christians oh). In my head, when such announcements are been made, I'm like so if the man God has designed for me comes now and is not a Catholic and refuses to go through all the processes and traditions, but would readily get wed to me in the catholic church, I would kiss him bye bye for fear of my parents' reputation or my standing with the Church?
I'm not sure what Religion is really about these days. I for one would have thought they would be more concerned about unifying the body of Christ you understand? Not cause more division. Many relationships that were built on love and truth have had to be broken because a particular faith could not condole the idea of embracing another. Trust me I understand that it's ideal for a family to practice the same faith and worship the same way. I could see an issue with a Muslim marrying a Jew, or a Christian marrying a Buddhist. But the issue of inter-denominational marriages among Christians is becoming a really serious palava. To me, if you believe in the same God, are able to pray together in your home and you both respect each other's believe, then nothing should stop you from getting married. You're both Christians, so what the heck right?
Anyways the truth is, whether or not it's the same God we worship, inter-faith or inter-denominational marriages are bound to cause irresolvable conflicts.. If some theologians have misunderstanding as to what is true and what's not, think about the problems that could arise between a couple. Statistically, inter-faith marriages have had higher rates of divorce compared to others...some are unhappy...50% don't last, 25% endure marriages, they co-exist in solitude and the other 25% live in happy mutually supportive marriages.  So may be this is what people like the Monsignor are trying to curb. 
Nevertheless...I hope you make the right choices pertaining to your relationship irrespective of one's religion/faith. I still believe we worship one God, just with few different orientations. This is where I press pause. Let's continue in the comment section as I expect you to Talk With Krystal ;)
Much love my darlings.

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous21/4/16 11:27

    This is a very salty topic in a lot of homes, and to be honest there's good reason. Some people especially worry about what happens when the kids arrive. Anybody that strongly believes that the way he or she worships God is right would by default want to guide their kids to do thesame. I'll focus on the situation with both Christians of different denominations because I think the rest are pretty obvious. Now, I'm not saying that a Catholic must marry a Catholic, as a matter of fact, someone very close to me just went through the whole drama of Catholic-Anglican marriage something something (the marriage eventually didn't happen). But the truth is, as a Catholic, for example, it's hard to pray together with someone who completely disregards the importance of Mary to your faith or vice versa with other instances (momma always says: a family that prays together stays together), when you both have different dogmas there may be clashes here and there always. Personally, besides the influence of parents (and I downplay this because at the end of the day, it's your marriage, and your new family should become your priority), it really comes down to both of you deciding to respect each other's faith, knowing fully well that in the end, it's thesame God we're all praying to. I saw this somewhere "be clear about your destination, but flexible about the route". That really sums it up, practically every religious person is gunning for thesame salvation, however you want to go about that shouldn't be forced on you by anyone. Marriage is an institution of God (most of the time anyways), and for that reason I don't think "how to worship God" should be the only thing stopping two people from getting married. Again, I'm not married, lol I could be completely wrong.

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    1. WISDOM!! Thank you so much. You've said it all. Like you hit the nail right on the head!#RealTalk

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  2. Anonymous22/4/16 13:45

    Islam has Shiite and Sunni and they don't see eye to eye. Thought I'd point that out.

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    1. Oh my...I suppose a marriage between both groups would let hell lose😥

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