I have like crazy BFFs yeah and the craziest stuffs can make for good conversation and arguments. This one topic spun my head. How many of y'all ladies fantasize of being raped by your partner? Yea sounds sick and abnormal right? But here's the jerk....it's said it's absolutely normal. Let's talk deeper.
When I was told that a lot of women have rape fantasies a lot, I refused to believe it. In fact because of how I've always admonished the idea of attempted or completed rape and rapists, I was already shouting, arguing and being all critical ; until I read up and ask a couple of other people.
According to Psychology Today, from 1973 through 2008, nine surveys of women's rape fantasies have been published. They show that about four in 10 women admit having them (31 to 57 percent) with a median frequency of about once a month. Actual prevalence of rape fantasies is probably higher because women may not feel comfortable admitting them. Rape fantasy is like the third most popular sexual fantasy for women and may be erotic or aversive. Erotic is when the lady pictures being coerced into sex and she enjoys it. Aversive on the other hand...she does have the fantasy of being forced but in the fantasy, she hates it.
I also had chats with some very experienced people. They said they usually enjoy some level of domination in the bedroom so they really love fantasizing about it...Like they could use a little force and pain as long as they trust their partners and well, feel safe.
Now I know you'd be asking why on earth any body would be having such fantasies or hoping they could play out a rape scene with their partners. Here's why:
1) To activate the fear/flight nervous system. You know when the sympathetic system is activated, adrenaline is released. Adrenaline can cause a whole lot of things including increased arousal. This leads to better intimacy and well...mind blowing orgasms.
2) To avoid being blamed for letting sex happen. Women are funny tricky creatures. In order to avoid being slut shamed or being seen as "easy", they rather create that condition so it seems they were forced against their will and avoid the guilt that may come with it.
3) S&M: Short for Sadism and Masochism. Sadism has to do with one partner deriving joy in inflicting pain on the other, while Masochism is the opposite; one partner gains pleasure in suffering. Many women gain pleasure in suffering and it seems the guys are the type to enjoy causing the pain (All them Christian Greys in the house). So most women that engage in masochism are more likely to have rape fantasies than those that have normal sex.
4) Due to past traumas: some women try to transform past traumas they may have experienced into pleasure. It helps them block out the horror or suppress bad memories.
There are many other reasons, e plenty die! But bottom line is that, it's very normal to have them. In your fantasies, you're running the entire show. Like you're in total control of every detail that happens. Some counsellors actually advise it sometimes....it's like role playing. They are not really about violence but about relinquishing control and just completely surrendering oneself, the ability to let oneself go completely in a safe and comfortable space.
So if you're wondering if you're sick or mentally deranged because you're having such fantasies, may be you're not thankfully. It's natural and normal for a woman to sometimes want to be submissive in bed....so maybe just maybe it's not weird after all.
What's your take? Do such people need therapy or do you agree it's normal?
Talk with Krystal in the comment section