The Real Life Nobody Told You About
As kids, we all looked forward to growing up to become adults that did adult things and no one controlled us, but the flip side is; NO ONE told us adulthood would come with a lot of baggage and responsibilities, so much that one would wish time could rewind back to the days when we were kids.
And for some reason, all the schooling, university, and chats with our parents failed to mention a few pretty major parts of what life really entails. Now, no one prepared us, and we don’t feel ready. We don’t know how to adult. Help us, please
Some of these we have already met, while the others are still on the way, either way, we need help !
First and foremost, money management in general. If you were lucky, your parents imparted some financial wisdom upon you before you headed off into the big bad world, but for the rest of us, our education consisted of arts and science and building this or treating that, even studying banking & finance or accounting doesn't prepare you enough for the decisions you'd have to make literally every day.
Having to form relationships with total strangers because school subconsciously made us think that everywhere we went, we’d be assigned little groups of people to work with or choose as our friends. LOL. Then we grew up, and realised that if we want an actual friendship group outside of work, we’re going to have to put in actual effort. It really is terrifying. Worse for introverts like myself
Our sudden, dramatic change in metabolism. Remember when as a kid you just ate anything and everything you wanted ? Well, nothing could have prepared us for the unexpected weight gain and flabby tummy that appeared after we ate the EXACT SAME THING we did earlier on. Now we have to worry about weight and looking fit and how the world can be cruel to people who don't look like models.
How to find a job. Obviously, we figured it out eventually. But perhaps someone could have prepared us for the days spent sifting through online ads and navigating the ‘you’ll need five years experience for this entry level job’ thing? I mean, come on!
Actually having to do the same job, every damn day. Of course this is relative, but in general, as kids, it was easy to talk about jobs as some abstract concept, and just see ‘getting a job’ as the highest achievement, but we never had a proper chat about the occasional monotony and daily grind of working. We literally have to learn on the job.
Dealing with terrible people day in, day out, and no one ever told us how many there would be in the world and how the heck we should deal with them. The rapper 'The Game' once said on a song that "The world ain't full of assholes, they're just strategically placed so you'd come across one each day". Funny, but very true. There's a lot of nice people out there too ;)
But speaking of nice people, what’s the deal with dating? I mean, our education system really needs ‘what to expect when you’re trying to find a romantic partner’ lessons. How are we supposed to know how to find people? How will we know how to say words to them? What is this dating thing all about? Oh, and all the sexy stuff?
Yep, woefully unprepared for all the awkward sex stuff Thanks for that, piss-poor sex education.
Finding a place to live. Go out into the world, they said. Save up for a deposit and then buy a house. But oh wait. They forgot to tell us about the whole housing crisis hoo-hah, and then also forgot to teach us how to find a proper place to live. There's so much that goes into finding where to live and if one isn't careful you can find yourself being unnecessarily frustrated with everything at home. When the problem really is the environment
Small talk. As simple as that sounds, a lot of people struggle with just making conversation. You'll never know how sad this is until you're stuck in a social gathering without any of your "inner Cacus" friends. Why did we never have small talk lessons? Why?
There's the office politics too. We thought we’d be able to just sit in an office and do big things. Nope. Loads of tensions, email-arguments, intricate social maneuvers, in some cases, even sexual harassment. Oh well..fun times, right?
Becoming woefully uncool as all the teenagers take over the world. Lol, personally I doubt this our generation of 90's babies will ever agree to be uncool, but one day one day it will still happen. We should have listened to our parents. We should have known that one day, we’d be the ones asking people what ‘on fleek’ means. Devastating AF, as the cool kids would say.
Maintaining friendships while keeping a full-on job and living life. How do people do this? Cos if none of the other points applies to you, this definitely would. I still struggle with this every damn day. Sometimes I go weeks without talking to my closest friends and even parents sometimes begin to complain about this same lack of communication. It's a jungle out here people ! But, just a piece of advice - always know that your true friends will never guilt trip you for actually working out your adulthood and finding yourself, they will always be there whenever you're able to reach out. Doesn't mean you should completely neglect people in the name of 'growing up'. But a true friend won't be mad at you for genuinely trying to be build your brand and make a name for yourself.
Finally, dealing with actual big problems. We were kind of used to just telling our parents/teachers/head of university departments and letting them sort it out. But now my friends, we would have to sort them out by ourselves. Some of us will also become parents/teachers/head of university departments and have to sort out other people's problems in addition to ours, but that's just real life.
At the end of the day, as human beings we are programmed to survive, to adapt, to always find a way. That's why last last, we go dey alright. Cheers !
Labels: Real Talk