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Showing posts from January, 2018

Heart 2 Heart With Krystal: I Was His Secret, I Know Better Now

On Saturday I shared on the vlog the difference between keeping your relationship private and a secret. Someone shared her experience with me and I must say, this session is a must read. I'd leave my thoughts right after the story.

"Krys, This your post about keeping your relationship a secret and keeping it private affects me somehow
I was dating a guy once and he never used any of my pictures on social media (it is normal for some people)..... to be coded about their girlfriend, but his own was too much even. When I will use our pictures together on social media, he would text me and tell me to take it down and give stupid reasons.....well we have finally broken up and now the girl he is following he's flaunting her anyhow all over his social media accounts....
His good friend "AY" told me openly that when a guy acts like that it means the person was never into you for him to be flaunting his new girl and never flaunted and him take a lot of pictures…

Vlog Post: Keeping Your Relationship Private vs A Secret

So I shared my thoughts on privacy and secrecy about one's relationship on a vlog post via my YouTube channel. Please watch below and do subscribe

Privacy and secrecy are not the same and it's sad people have lost their meanings. The fact that you take pictures of your partner out at dinner or some vacation and post up or say you're in a relationship doesn't mean you tell the world what exactly goes on between the both of you. You can't keep the person you're crazy about a secret. Yes keep your relationship private but not your partner a secret. Know the difference

Health Corner with Krystal: LASSA FEVER

Lassa Fever has been rampant lately in Nigeria and it’s only fair I do my part as a healthcare professional to educate on the treatment, prevention and control of this deadly disease. This new year alone, it has claimed 16 lives with 4 of them being health care workers. It’s a very scary thing just like the Ebola virus that gave us quite a lot of cause for concern. Health workers like me are usually the secondary victims as they get infected while treating patients with the disease. I know some of us will flee from the hospitals and health centers, but if no one attends to the primary patients we’d have an even bigger public health problem on our hands.

The Nigeria Centre for Disease Control (NCDC) stated recently it has recorded a total number of 107 suspected cases in ten states across the country – Ondo, Bauchi, Anambra, Imo, Benue, Lagos, Edo, Ebonyi, Kogi and Nasarawa states. Just a few days ago I got word there was a suspected case around Asokoro District in Abuja (not sure thi…

Heart 2 Heart With Krystal: He Lost Me, I'm Happy

Welcome to another session of Heart 2 Heart. You're gon' love this one. Get comfortable and read

"Aunty Krystal, this one is sweeting my body. I was dating one stupid person for a while. I was living in bondage, he's the real definition of a yoruba demon. He would abuse me emotionally, call me all sorts of names and constantly cheat. I don't know how but I kept staying with him. This person said he won't allow me move from Delta to Abuja to work even if something good comes up and I accepted oh. Smh! 

Late last year, he decided to be silly. Do you know even after meeting my parents he went on to cheat on me? E never finish, he would freely come to my house and gist with my parents and refuse me from meeting his mum. When I ask why, he would give some flimsy excuses and say I'm being pushy. So I backed down a bit.  Later he broke up with me following a disagreement. This was not the first time but it was surely the last time. 

He broke up with me, blocked me …

JAP - Jump And Pass

I belong to this very vibrant hike group, Tha Outdoor Tribe and besides the usual monthly hikes that bring us together; the whatsapp group page is just on a whole different level. Like most active whatsapp groups, one could meet a thousand messages within a split second of being offline. So when some of us can’t keep up with the chats, we’d easily write “JAP”, moving past all the non-important messages. Not just that, with a lot of people with diverse backgrounds and ideologies, there’s bound to be conflict every now and then. Sometimes when someone just doesn’t want to get into it, he/she just JAPs, like it’s not worth the stress you dig?
I often think about this and I’ve realized applying JAP in life, in DJ Khalid’s voice, is a MAJOR KEY in life. Truth is you can’t always spend your time throwing stones at every dog that barks at you. Ignoring things not worth your time and attention is an intelligent way to show your wisdom and maturity. You know the phrase “Pick Your Battles”, y…

Health Corner with Krystal: Premature Ejaculation

Ladies always gist their girlfriends of their sexcapades and this can either boost or diminish a dude’s rep big time. You should hear a woman describe someone she just had sex with; if he was unbelievably good you would hear something like “He snatched my soul” or “he set my pumpum on fire”. Then if brother arrived even before the chorus of the first track, the common line “that one is just a five-second-man” or “after all the bragging uncle came after just ordinary kiss”…yoo umu nwanyi have bad mouth you don’t even know the half of it.

It’s one thing to achieve an erection and be able to climax/have an orgasm (at least everything is working), but it is very embarrassing and quite distressful when a man can’t keep it up for too long and ends up not satisfying his partner. It’s not only the man Premature Ejaculation affects, the lady in question (especially if she really loves him) gets very frustrated after many counts of “coming too fast”. In short, most marriages have broken up bec…

Nerd It Up

It's popular belief (to most folks) that nerds/geeks are only great at reading books or getting the good grades, but bad at satisfying women or even getting a girlfriend to say the least.

 Well ladies this could not be more false. Nerds make awesome incredible partners (if not the best; yes I may be biased cause I got me one...LOL…I had to, limited edition you know). Besides being the smartest in the room, here’s why you should go for a nerd:

Nerds are:
- Loyal to the Core:  With a geek you never have to worry about the “demon trait” (like the Yoruba demons you have been with). They usually keep to themselves and even when they make ordinary friends, they don’t like to lose them. So imagine how they gon treat you their own woman! Your geek boyfriend or husband will always put you first and would be 101% committed to you. No time to play games.

- Funny as Heck: If he’s smart, he sure can make you laugh. My nerd makes me laugh without even trying. Whether they’re being sarcastic, t…

On Bended Knee

About to propose? You have to be sure the other party is on the same page with you. With the number of proposals gone south in recent times, one can only wonder what the couples must have been doing together the whole time; why one person felt it was time to take the next step and the other was still three steps behind.
Only yesterday, a video of a lady crying her heart out at Ikeja mall because her man refused her proposal went viral. Mehn that public embarrassment was not of this world, wanted to cry for her. While people attacked her for being so desperate as to have been the one to pop the question, abi its same world people that scream “Shoot Your Shot”. As much as I’m not all for the lady proposing, toh who am I to judge? But why think you guys are indeed ready to be man and wife when you don’t even know so much about your significant other? That’s how I saw update on the lady’s case oh, that the guy told her he’s a married man. Ekwembaduga!! Chick didn’t even know she was the…

It's Okay Not To Be Okay

This title follows the lyrics to Jessie J’s song “Who you are”. You know most times we are expected to keep it together, be perfect, not be sad, always cheerful and bringing joy to others….at least that’s what is usually expected of me. There have been times when I had to keep stuff to myself and act like I was okay, feign a very beautiful smile and make those around me happy. And when I err, I get scared I might lose the things and people I love the most…why? Just cause I feel like I’m damaged goods and others may get to see the “not so together me”
Over time, I’ve learned to admit to myself first and foremost I’m not okay when I’m not…to breakdown and cry when I feel overwhelmed, upset, hurt or alone…same way I get excited and happy about certain things. It doesn’t make me weaker than the next person, it’s just, I’m allowed to have bad days…days when I’m not so hyper (I usually have a natural high). I try to remember I’m only but human and that’s one thing everyone should keep in m…

Sunday Special: What You Gon' Do?

Okay so there's a girl you have taken an interest in. She's fun, intelligent, smart, your type of woman. You've gone a couple of dates and you're still trying to fester up the courage to ask her to be yours. You finally make the decision to do so..and then your brother beeps you, that there's this girl he likes and wanted you to meet. The day comes, lo and behold, that's your dream girl right there, seated by your brother's side...whatchu gon do?
If you were the girl, how will you handle the situation?

Heart 2 Heart with Krystal - MY BIG MISTAKE

Like my blog's description, I'm all about reality...real life experiences, mine as well as others. Today's post we'd be looking at a blog reader's story; other people's experiences help to know you're definitely not alone because someone else has dealt or is dealing with something similar; and also to learn from them and make better choices.
Here's her story:

"Way back in 2013, I got into a big fight one day with my then boyfriend... in fact I thought we were done. I was walking from his office to the junction when a car suddenly pulled up beside me. This fine guy with a smooth voice came out of the car and approached me. He said he was at FCMB using the ATM when he saw me walk past him before and luckily saw me again coming back, he knew he had to meet me. He introduced himself as.....(let's call him TL). My BF was just few steps behind me and I wanted to pepper him. So I was happy to give this guy my number and made sure to loudly remind him …

Typical Guys A Naija Girl Is Bound To Meet

In our pursuit to find "The One", ladies will encounter  very different men (there's plenty levels to this right here); some will leave them stunned and others will probably have them taking to their heels.

I had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine centered around this and I was like "Ahh I need to put this down". After listening to different experiences, some of which cracked my ribs, I could relate to some extent. Sooooo....typical guys an average nigerian lady will meet in her lifetime:

1) WhatsApp Relationship Type: Please what's that oh? The relationship starts and ends on whatsapp abi? If you have just met this type that has no plans on being a serious somebody, throw the whole of him away..#Issamumu

2) The FWB-Intended-Type: So that's how one was doing crush on a girl, dropping lines and getting close only to turn around and say he just wanted to be friends with benefits. Oloriburuku!! If that's what you wanted, say it from the very beg…


If like me you have been a victim of the silent treatment one too many times, then you must know by now it is one of the worst, if not the worst form of emotional abuse. I often feel it's a punishment worse than death.

Silence breeds toxicity in a relationship and it takes a whole lot to not feel resented, abandoned and lonely. Silent treatment gives the abuser control and serves as punishment for the victim's perceived attempt at having some little ego. The silencer in a narcissistic way takes away the voice of the victim to air his/her opinion/feelings about issues that should be talked about because the victim dreads the silence. The abuser already knows the type of reaction to expect and goes on to employ it to get a sense of control.

I'd explain how this works from my own experience. Once the silence ensues, the victim's mind goes on a journey, wondering and trying to understand why they are being denied love from the so called boo. Next the silence becomes so lo…

A Call From The Ex

Few days into the new year, I got a call from an ex. Not just any ex, the once great love I thought was my future. A call that sent me into a "shock-frozen" state...brahhh I was shoookkk. Why? Firstly, I had blocked that number on my main phone and switched to a smaller one that day, so I didn't expect if at all he'd call me he'd get through to me.  Secondly, he was certainly the last person I expected to hear from; considering how things went south (been almost a year now).

When I got to know who was on the other end of the phone, I won't lie ehn, the small demons in my head went off ... I don't know how I managed to remain calm and talk normal. No no, I know..I've been saved by the Master, Hallelujah!!
Anyways, I indulged the conversation, exchanged pleasantries; and bruva was like "he wanted to wish me everything good for the new year like he's been doing everyone, didn't want no fight", asked things not be awkward when we cross …