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Heart 2 Heart With Krystal: I Was His Secret, I Know Better Now



On Saturday I shared on the vlog the difference between keeping your relationship private and a secret. Someone shared her experience with me and I must say, this session is a must read. I'd leave my thoughts right after the story.

"Krys, This your post about keeping your relationship a secret and keeping it private affects me somehow
I was dating a guy once and he never used any of my pictures on social media (it is normal for some people)..... to be coded about their girlfriend, but his own was too much even. When I will use our pictures together on social media, he would text me and tell me to take it down and give stupid reasons.....well we have finally broken up and now the girl he is following he's flaunting her anyhow all over his social media accounts....
His good friend "AY" told me openly that when a guy acts like that it means the person was never into you for him to be flaunting his new girl and never flaunted me......me and him take a lot of pictures together on his phone but he doesn't upload any one.....he never even used me for DP.
It's my problem sha; I should have known better.....Krys the truth is any guy that loves a woman should be able to show the world who makes his heart beat with no excuses no matter how "reserved" he claims to be...my foolish boyfriend wasn't keeping me private he was keeping me secret because he never planned to be with me forever........it's a sign most women must not forget. Once he has a problem telling the world about you, it means inside him he has not fully accepted you...that is my bitter lesson learnt. 
But men always know what they want, if they love you they would show you off without shame! Nothing about love should be hidden. Even those claiming private relationship, if you dig deeper you would find out they are indirectly keeping you a secret. Guys are foolish. At least the one I'm dating now is using me as wall paper and screen saver. But I'm still watching him closely because I'm smarter now. The last relationship really hurt me. Some said he probably started dating her before we broke up.  He even introduced her to his family....sigh... I'm over the idiot now, he wasn't into me but he didn't know how to say it. I guess these things happen...I was just blind sha, I know better now.
You really write stories that touch the heart. I feel much better now talking about it"

 I feel for you dear poster; I'm sorry you got this hurt, from what you said I don't think he was yours to keep. There's always a purpose in your pain; at least that is what I choose to believe.

It's true one should not be kept a secret if the love is genuine, but like I said on the vlog, it's not all about posting pictures of you people on social media to see. After all some celebs do that and things still fall apart. In your case, if he had introduced you to people that really mattered in his life like his very close friends or some one related, then you'd have known he wasn't trying to play games. Still, it's not a bad thing to share a photo of your significant other every once in a while; could be a picture from dinner or a date or something. It doesn't mean that you are telling the world your business. No one knows what actually goes down between you two but it's no secret that he or she exists in your life. You may not even need to say who it is out but sooner or later, with your actions, how you're always together at different events, how you always want them to be a part of what ever you're doing, people will get the message without you saying a word.

Again, when you notice something different about your partner, it should give you cause for concern; like when they just stop doing what they usually do..how they would usually express their love for you. I was once in a similar situation like the poster's experience. I had this dude that anytime I had a new picture, he would flaunt me on his whatsapp display picture and used me as his wall paper. I also loved putting up pictures of the both of us. Later on, I noticed he stopped and had taken down the wall paper....but the mumu in me didn't let me be great. I brushed it off and felt it was nothing. Please note that I'm not saying that if your partner doesn't use you as his/her wall paper you're probably a secret. I'm rather saying once something that used to be normal no longer stands, know the end is in sight.

So yes, keep your relationship private but don't keep your partner a secret. If you love them, why hide them? Don't agree to be a secret. If they can't mention you publicly, they should not be able to have you privately. Once you're a secret, bear in mind you can never ever be the one. You're not their king or queen.

P.S: Not all guys are foolish, same way not all women are foolish. LOL

Please share your thoughts/advise on this issue with me in the comment section. The poster would also love to hear other people's thoughts besides mine. I'd be reading likewise and also interacting with y'all. Hope your week is looking up already..
Love and Light, Krystal


Comments

  1. Before I started dating I had issues with flaunting pics, I want the liberty to use any gal-friend on my dp. Fast track to when I started dating I realized the make of a woman - using other chics is issue not using them often or at all is bigger issue. Coming to the experienced shared above, my opinion is while he avoided using her on his dp and stopping her from using same on her own dp, it is a clear sign there is another woman she's hiding her from - a case of secret relationship. It's a sign the lady above should have taken seriously. However, relationship should not be based on whether you graced the dp or not but on what's your relationship like outside social media sphere some don't just like it, hence if same keeps you secret in real life then RUN! To conclude, this stuff is vice versa some ladies won't ever use their guy as dp too but keep on changing their own picture hundred times a day; is that self love or a sign for the guy to run too?

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    1. Indeed...if he keeps you a secret in reality, take to your heels and run

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  2. Before I got married, I used to flaunt my ex's pics all over memorised phone numbers etc.
    We broke up and it took a lot out of me...and in dat instance I decided within not to flaunt.
    Some years down the road...I dated girls that had issues with it and some that didn't care if I used them or not.
    But being married is different, u can't say u love ur wife and keep her a secret. Even though i dont use her as dp or wall paper...I flaunt her at d slightest chance I get...

    I don't think people should attach to much importance to dp/wallpapers...but to the things that your partner stopped doing.

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    1. I quite agree with you. Thank you!!

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  3. Everyone's different, do understand your partner and know what works. Private or secret should be an agreement but nothing is ever truly a secret.

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  4. Me I don't even know what to say...I have a problem with this particular issue...I'm a PDA person tho.. Please where can I send my story to?

    -Pattyliciouz

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    1. I'm also a PDA person...but sometimes your partner would rather you don't do all that in public. The ish is quite a dicy one. But even when you're trying to keep your relationship details private, there is nothing wrong flaunting the person you love at any given point in time. Doesn't have to be via dps or wallpapers.

      To send your story, please email krystaltalks@gmail.com

      Xoxo

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