On Saturday I shared on the vlog the difference between keeping your relationship private and a secret. Someone shared her experience with me and I must say, this session is a must read. I'd leave my thoughts right after the story.
"Krys, This your post about keeping your relationship a secret and keeping it private affects me somehow
I was dating a guy once and he never used any of my pictures on social media (it is normal for some people)..... to be coded about their girlfriend, but his own was too much even. When I will use our pictures together on social media, he would text me and tell me to take it down and give stupid reasons.....well we have finally broken up and now the girl he is following he's flaunting her anyhow all over his social media accounts....
His good friend "AY" told me openly that when a guy acts like that it means the person was never into you for him to be flaunting his new girl and never flaunted me......me and him take a lot of pictures together on his phone but he doesn't upload any one.....he never even used me for DP.
It's my problem sha; I should have known better.....Krys the truth is any guy that loves a woman should be able to show the world who makes his heart beat with no excuses no matter how "reserved" he claims to be...my foolish boyfriend wasn't keeping me private he was keeping me secret because he never planned to be with me forever........it's a sign most women must not forget. Once he has a problem telling the world about you, it means inside him he has not fully accepted you...that is my bitter lesson learnt.
But men always know what they want, if they love you they would show you off without shame! Nothing about love should be hidden. Even those claiming private relationship, if you dig deeper you would find out they are indirectly keeping you a secret. Guys are foolish. At least the one I'm dating now is using me as wall paper and screen saver. But I'm still watching him closely because I'm smarter now. The last relationship really hurt me. Some said he probably started dating her before we broke up. He even introduced her to his family....sigh... I'm over the idiot now, he wasn't into me but he didn't know how to say it. I guess these things happen...I was just blind sha, I know better now.
You really write stories that touch the heart. I feel much better now talking about it"
I feel for you dear poster; I'm sorry you got this hurt, from what you said I don't think he was yours to keep. There's always a purpose in your pain; at least that is what I choose to believe.
It's true one should not be kept a secret if the love is genuine, but like I said on the vlog, it's not all about posting pictures of you people on social media to see. After all some celebs do that and things still fall apart. In your case, if he had introduced you to people that really mattered in his life like his very close friends or some one related, then you'd have known he wasn't trying to play games. Still, it's not a bad thing to share a photo of your significant other every once in a while; could be a picture from dinner or a date or something. It doesn't mean that you are telling the world your business. No one knows what actually goes down between you two but it's no secret that he or she exists in your life. You may not even need to say who it is out but sooner or later, with your actions, how you're always together at different events, how you always want them to be a part of what ever you're doing, people will get the message without you saying a word.
Again, when you notice something different about your partner, it should give you cause for concern; like when they just stop doing what they usually do..how they would usually express their love for you. I was once in a similar situation like the poster's experience. I had this dude that anytime I had a new picture, he would flaunt me on his whatsapp display picture and used me as his wall paper. I also loved putting up pictures of the both of us. Later on, I noticed he stopped and had taken down the wall paper....but the mumu in me didn't let me be great. I brushed it off and felt it was nothing. Please note that I'm not saying that if your partner doesn't use you as his/her wall paper you're probably a secret. I'm rather saying once something that used to be normal no longer stands, know the end is in sight.
So yes, keep your relationship private but don't keep your partner a secret. If you love them, why hide them? Don't agree to be a secret. If they can't mention you publicly, they should not be able to have you privately. Once you're a secret, bear in mind you can never ever be the one. You're not their king or queen.
P.S: Not all guys are foolish, same way not all women are foolish. LOL
Please share your thoughts/advise on this issue with me in the comment section. The poster would also love to hear other people's thoughts besides mine. I'd be reading likewise and also interacting with y'all. Hope your week is looking up already..
Love and Light, Krystal