Like my blog's description, I'm all about reality...real life experiences, mine as well as others. Today's post we'd be looking at a blog reader's story; other people's experiences help to know you're definitely not alone because someone else has dealt or is dealing with something similar; and also to learn from them and make better choices.
Here's her story:
"Way back in 2013, I got into a big fight one day with my then boyfriend... in fact I thought we were done. I was walking from his office to the junction when a car suddenly pulled up beside me. This fine guy with a smooth voice came out of the car and approached me. He said he was at FCMB using the ATM when he saw me walk past him before and luckily saw me again coming back, he knew he had to meet me. He introduced himself as.....(let's call him TL). My BF was just few steps behind me and I wanted to pepper him. So I was happy to give this guy my number and made sure to loudly remind him to call him.
After that he called every now and then but I was never really interested in meeting him. Deep in my heart I knew TL was trouble because I had made up with my boyfriend; but the attraction was just too much.
Fast forward to September 2015 and several phone calls and missed/canceled appointments, TL still called me up at least once a month (I never called or met with him). This September I was sleeping on my bed when he called and begged for a date and pleaded with me not to cancel as usual I promised we'd do that the next weekend. That next weekend I was at my friend's house when he called and I didn't pick, like 4 times. I told my friend about him and she urged me to call him back. That he's been consistent all these years so he may just be "the one". So I called...BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE.
TL drove down to pick me up and on our way, it began raining heavily. We couldn't stay at the spot for our date so we decided to get some fish and said to chill at his place and he'd take me back to my friend's much later. We ate, drank and gisted.... 9:30pm dude says he has to rush out urgently to pick up something from someone and would be back in a few minutes. So I stayed back watching TV. He wasn't back by 12am and my friends were worried. Got someone to take me home, on my way TL appeared from nowhere giving some flimsy excuse. He sha took me back home himself. And I thought that was definitely the end as far as both of us were concerned.
Didn't get to hear from him again till January 2016. One demon told me to send him happy new year message and I obeyed. The calls then started again and we began hanging out and sex got into play...I lost my head. I swear good D is a bad thing. It can cloud your sense of good judgement. Nobody around me liked this guy. In fact deep down I knew I didn't like him. But this infatuation/lust/obsession/attraction/etc would not let me be wise. At some point I thought I had feelings for him and I told him straight up. He said he wasn't ready to date yet but he was committed to me (whatever does that even mean)...yet my stupid sexified brain understood and agreed.
It was like an on and off relationship, we'd see one week and go silent thee next. I even had to be lying to my friends and my sister-in-law that I wasn't seeing him again. But I still was and I couldn't stop. I was addicted.
Then June 2016, I spoke to myself and begged myself to end the shit. I called him up and begged him to leave me be. I sent a text to back up the plea. Then I blocked him on everything, in every way I knew how...
But NO, TL is the devil from hell. He would call me with different strange numbers and beg and plead. Then one evening I was having a showered and crying, asking God to heal my heart. I heard my phone ring twice and as I came out of the bathroom, it rang again. I sha picked up the strange number and it was TL. He begged me not to hang up. He began telling me how he was addicted to me and can't get me out of his system; and how he thinks he is in love with me and that he has had series of heart break so he was just being careful. he said I should give him a trial, at least one more month, then we can officially start dating. He said so many sweet things that spun my head. All the right things I wanted to hear, how special I was to him....and I believed him.
That night I slept in tears...happy tears. I thought to myself that at least the feeling was mutual. I knew little of what was to come. We didn't speak again from that June till September when he called again. I never asked, but I realized we were not dating and we could never date; dude and I were just Slam Buddies and could never be more. I tried to think I could accept that and just enjoy the moment but I knew I was lying to myself.
Into 2017...we were off today and on tomorrow, happy today and sad tomorrow. My ex (the one I was seeing before TL came into the picture and knew I never stopped seeing him when I said I did) encouraged me to ask him again, which I did. But dude still had stories to spin. I finally confessed to my friends and sister-in-law. At some point I thought I was possessed. In August one hot afternoon, we ran from work for a quickie and afterwards dude told me he is getting MARRIED.
Shoot me please....I felt at first it was a horrible and bad joke. I got home, told my ex and he made me understand it was no joke and I should brace myself for the reality. My friend went snooping around his social media and found out that it was true.
Anyways I blocked him again and purged myself of him. I thought I had succeeded. He got married in October. One afternoon in November, a woman called me about buying and I invited her to come down to my office. She asked if she could come by 5pm after work and I agreed to wait. Got a colleague to wait with me; at about that time she called again and we went out to meet her. Lo and behold, it was TL there, apparently he had gotten some woman somewhere to call me.
I exploded and started screaming at him. My colleague got me to calm down. In fact my boss even asked the office police to intervene. So I calmed down, we got into his car and he started explaining nonsense. How he had to marry her for some reasons bla bla bla. Asked we should stay friends. I swear I didn't know I could use so much swear words in a sentence until that day. I told him how selfish he was and how this meeting was for his own gratification and nothing else. Do you know this dude had the guts to tell me he won't stop calling me? As long as I still had a working phone he would never stop. I had to change my whatsapp number because of this dude. I have so many blocked numbers because of him. Everyday I pray he stops. I even thought about going to look for his wife to beg her to help me.
This year alone he has called me at least 10 times. He wants to see me....for what??
Everyday I regret placing that call back in 2015. I would not be in this shit....oh well"
First of all, thank you for sharing with me and the blog readers. I'm glad you are healing and you're much better now else I doubt you would have been able to tell your story. From what you said, you ceased to let him have power over you.
Dear krystals, some people are just out to make a complete mess of your life. We need to be careful out here, the devil comes in everything shiny. This particular man is just a destiny killer, complete bad news and nothing good would have ever come out of anything with him. I am even pitying the wife he got married to.
Sigh, people deal with a lot daily. Sometimes it helps to share and begin your healing process and still help others learn from your experiences.
Now you've read hers....thoughts anyone? Share with me in the comment section. Please remember this is a judgement free space
To have a heart to heart with me, send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org or an instagram Direct Message @krystaltalks.
Hope your day's looking up...Talk, with Krystal :)