About to propose? You have to be sure the other party is on the same page with you. With the number of proposals gone south in recent times, one can only wonder what the couples must have been doing together the whole time; why one person felt it was time to take the next step and the other was still three steps behind.
Only yesterday, a video of a lady crying her heart out at Ikeja mall because her man refused her proposal went viral. Mehn that public embarrassment was not of this world, wanted to cry for her. While people attacked her for being so desperate as to have been the one to pop the question, abi its same world people that scream “Shoot Your Shot”. As much as I’m not all for the lady proposing, toh who am I to judge? But why think you guys are indeed ready to be man and wife when you don’t even know so much about your significant other? That’s how I saw update on the lady’s case oh, that the guy told her he’s a married man. Ekwembaduga!! Chick didn’t even know she was the side chick *crying hot tears*..
Anyways, to the main business of the day… how do you know it’s time to change relationship status from girlfriend/boyfriend to fiancée/fiancé? They may seem happy with you but are they ready to make that lifetime commitment? You need to find out if they would say yes and not even say it out of pressure or pity.
Carry out an extensive background check. Don’t come and be like our fallen sister from yesterday. You should have even done this before now. Ask all the necessary questions you need to ask and keep your eyes and ears to the ground. I think it’s always possible to know when something fishy is going on; women especially have the gift of a strong intuition…we’re hardly ever wrong about these things, well of course if you choose to be blind. Are they still hung up on past relationships and looking for an opportunity to run back to an old flame? So that you don’t assume the ring would lock them down and kill feelings for other people. Two people that want to be together forever should belong to each other solely. Don’t go and be planning to propose to someone else’s wife or husband.
Now have the both of you ever discussed marriage before? Have you both ever talked of children, living together, seeing the world together and building a home? Has there been the slightest hint at marriage ever being in the picture? If you intend proposing it is important to have had these discussions to help you make an informed decision.
There are other things to consider before bending the knee like
- Can you two picture each other as parents? How comfortable are you with the idea of parenthood and are the both of you mature to cater to the needs of future off springs?
- Is your partner understanding of your financial situation, your lifestyle, your living status? You may think y’all are just about the love now but money has been known to cause damaging issues in a home and even lead to divorce. You both have to be more realistic than optimistic. Discuss this when you have gone some miles in your relationship, not at the very beginning and definitely not when you’re just about to propose.
- Consider the stage your significant other presently is in her/his life (pending who is proposing). When they are going through a really tough time such as the loss of a loved one or a job or dealing with school stress, be there for them and chill till they are in a much better place before popping the question.
So there you have it. There are still a ton of things you should think about, but these are the basics. Know your partner and let your partner know you. If anyone is wasting the other’s time, know when to take your leave and bounce. Don’t put yourself through the emotional torture of being turned down in front of family, friends and strangers even worse.
Till next time, do talk with your girl Krystal.