A friend shared this photo above on our group page and asked “if this were the cover for your book or movie, what will be the title and what would the story be about?” The moment I saw the picture, without reading the question, it already spoke to me. I can’t write a book though, but I can surely make a quick blog post about it.
I honestly feel that the picture describes the phase I’ve been trying to wiggle out of. I know I’m not the only one who’s been down and out and keeps asking herself ‘What’s the point?” Like you’re not necessarily depressed (though it could be a contributing factor) but getting things done or following through a project you set out to accomplish is now a huge challenge. You lack motivation and you’re just waiting for something or someone to motivate you. Your batteries are out and you’re slowly becoming a shadow of yourself.
So that was me; no willpower...If I had my way then, I’d have probably curled up in a cave and be by myself, hiding away from the world and responsibilities that come along with it, running away from my dreams and aspirations because I’m too scared I’d never achieve them since I’m “powered down”. The feeling of having goals but no push to drive me forward; knowing what I want and having ideas about what I need to do but feeling stuck. I don’t think anyone just wants to merely exist in this life. I truly believe everyone wants to leave behind a mark…a legacy. And it’s quite alright to get shaken up every once in a while, but you'd need to stay motivated to get through it.
Lack of motivation could stem from:
- Social rejection: I know we say “live your life for no one but you”, but when people actually reject what you stand for or seem not to fancy what you do, you begin to lose the will or desire to carry on. It doesn’t mean there aren’t those who believe in you or love what you do, but a single instance of rejection could feel like “uhm no one wants to see this”; like no one cares. I’ve been here way too much and lost sight of who I am and what I want to achieve. I have actually referred to myself as a complete failure (this is a toxic thought). Social rejection plays a major key role where motivation is concerned. But you need to constantly remind yourself who you are, why you do things and where you are going to. As much as you get to feel bad and don’t want to do anything anymore, confront the problem. Do you need to modify anything? Is there something you can learn? Do you need to switch circles? Check everything within and around you to get to the root cause as to your rejection. Nevertheless, remove yourself from that situation the best way you can because believe me being constantly rejected is never and will never be healthy for anyone no matter what.
- Decision fatigue – I relate with this all too well. In the past couple of weeks I’ve had to make a lot of decisions, so much that I barely could manage the number of choices I had to make daily. It got to a point I felt helpless, alone, confused, distraught and all I could think of was going into hibernation. Like just lie in bed and do nothing, forget about work, forget about my plans, forget I’m alive and just log off. Making decisions so often made me begin to look for any cuts possible and even taking major life changing decisions too quickly. It got to a point I screamed out with a loud cry in my room and said “I’m tired! It’s enough!! It ends here!!!” There and then I laid down, closed my eyes and with a very deep breath, I slept bearing in my consciousness I had to manage situations better and not be too worried about things I needed to do or how I have to go about them. Next day, I was up and carrying out my tasks not thinking much and having constant anxiety. When you take things easy, you become more rational, perform better and are less mentally stressed. This I am still trying to work on.
- High expectations – More often than not, expectations of yourself cause the most pain. This one could even be linked to decision fatigue. A lot of people, including me, it’s usually not the problem that bothers them but the idea of the problem. It’s important to cut yourself some slack, relax and walk through everything. Leave your head….your thoughts and just live a little without casting judgement on yourself. Once your expectations are somewhat reduced, you will gradually begin to gain some motivation and be able to focus on something more positive.
- Comparison: Forgetting everyone is different and we can’t all be propelled with same momentum can cause you to stop being motivated. Nothing good ever comes from comparing and competing. That A is at the top doesn’t mean you will never get there. You have no idea what they must have gone through or the dues they paid to finally be where you wish to be. Comparing to even your parents or relative would make you wallow in self-pity for long. You have to be you. You can admire and appreciate people but you cannot be them. Don’t compare yourself with others. Take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. Don’t occupy yourself with someone else’s assignment, stay focused on yours. Trust once you begin to do this, you’d steadily be motivated as long as you need to be.
So yea, if like me you need to be recharged, don’t worry much about it. We all have experienced the feeling of being stuck in a rut with no sign of anything good coming soon. But know you will survive it, I did! I am still getting through it. You are all the motivation you need. You need to constantly tell yourself that and reassure yourself everything will figure itself out; take it one day at a time. Try as much as possible to gain some inspiration regularly from maybe inspirational stories. Refuel your inspiration tank. Visualize your plan and progress, recognize good opportunities when they present themselves, don’t compare yourself to others; you are your biggest competition. If you have to, pretend you are a very motivated person; you know the “fake it till you become it” saying, apply it. A fake motivated person will eventually become truly motivated. Oh did you know exercise does wonders in keeping you motivated or charging you up? With exercise comes toxin elimination and helps to clear your mind up so you can think more clearly. No matter how small, just move your body. If you also need to talk to someone, a friend, family, therapist, do so.
I hope this post was quick enough…LOL and I hope I helped someone as well.
Love always, Krystal.