Skip to main content

Loud Thoughts - Bestie Of The Opposite Sex

They say date your bestfriend..marry your bestfriend...your husband/wife should be your bestfriend. When your partner has a "bestie" of the opposite sex, maybe you shouldn't be there....

What's the point being in a relationship with someone who'd go to "B" first before coming to you they're supposedly meant to be with and then you get to feel like the 2nd option? Why be with someone who constantly puts it in your face that someone else is more important than you?

I had a very very close male friend back in school. He was also friends with my boo then. It always felt like his (my close friend) name popped up in every conversation, outing, decision, etc. It didn't take long boo began to feel hurt, inadequate and disrespected. In my head I felt it was nothing but I was making someone I claimed to be the most important person then feel less than he was to me. To him it was like "so why am I with you? Why lie to him about where you are or that you're home when you're over at my place? Why call him first? Why why why?" He felt there was more to it...

I've known to never make anyone feel that way ever again, so as far as "bestfriends" of the opposite sex partner or husband should be exactly that...the first go to...every other person should be secondary to him. And I would expect to be treated same.

I have seen first hand how much it can hurt a person to be disrespected or feel like the second choice by the one person they put above all else.. like i ignorantly did to someone, it's been done to me and Lord knows I wouldn't want to make another human feel same way. That's how one of my exes was claiming bestfriend with a girl I had to also make a good friend and be cool with for his sake. I wanted to be comfortable with the idea of the opposite sex being a best friend. But really if she was his best friend, what exactly was I to him? Someone to just cuddle or warm his bed? As much as it irked me, I kept calm...only for them to get intimate and begin dating afterwards.

If you know you have a bestfriend of the opposite sex and you will keep introducing them to everyone as that, you probably should date them than drag someone in and put them through all that torture of being "second best". I've made sure to be careful with that word because like I said, I've seen how much pain it can cause (both from my experience and others). That label denotes a whole lot along with the actions that follow. Being ignorant or refusing to see the effects of your actions doesn't change the fact that it is what it is.

Just Krystal...thinking out loud.